Nurture Your Child (and Yourself) with a Positive Transition to Childcare

As a working parent, you entrust the care of your child to someone else each day, and the separation can be angsty for everyone involved. Guess what? It doesn’t need to be. Follow these tips to help you evaluate your childcare options. 

As a former early childhood university administrator who provided teacher training and research, I’ve guided many parents through the transition of starting childcare. It’s a tender and exciting time for both of you. 

There are a myriad of options for childcare: centers, family day cares, nannies, and extended family. Of course, these differ based on your unique circumstances: affordability, personal preference, and your location. In the U.S., 60 percent of families use childcare during the first five years, according to the National Center for Education Statistics, and of these, more than half utilize center-based care. 

Whether someone comes to your home or you bring your child somewhere, time apart can be emotional. Knowing your child is in responsible care is key to feeling more at ease. You need a place where you know they’re physically and emotionally safe. 

Let’s discuss how to make the best decision for you and your child, and how to make the transition to childcare positive.

Finding the Right Caregiver: How Do You Know Where to Go? 

First, consider what you want. A small setting with a family atmosphere or a large program with a more academic focus? Research your options, get referrals, and check references, including your state’s childcare licensing site, which has public information about past inspections and citations. 

Once you’ve narrowed your choices, it’s time to start visiting locations armed with questions for the director and staff. Don’t worry; they’re used to this! 

What to Ask When You Interview Childcare Providers

As you tour, consider asking the following questions and paying attention to what’s going on:

1. How many children and teachers are in each room? Is this the state minimum, or do they go beyond minimum standards? How do teacher/child ratios change for older children? Hint: Lower ratios typically indicate higher quality care.

2. What do you hear? Is it the sound of active play, laughing, and singing, or adults yelling, and children crying? Of course, children are going to cry! But take note. Are teachers responsive? Hint: Adults yelling is a red flag.

3. Are teachers attuned to what’s happening in the room? Are they ignoring anyone as they talk to you? Do you see children who look distressed? Do teachers communicate empathy? Is the curriculum play-based, and does it support active learning? Are there posted lesson plans? If not, how are they communicated to parents and guardians? Are teachers able to articulate the learning goals? Are children expected to sit still for extended periods? Hint: Movement is a young child’s preferred mode of learning.

4. How much time is spent outdoors each day? Is this beyond the minimum required by state mandate? What learning activities are conducted outdoors? Hint: Outdoor play is linked to improved learning outcomes and less aggression, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Hint #2: Babies need time outside, too.

5. What methods of behavior management are used? Watch and listen to what you see happening as you tour. Ask specifically about biting and how it’s handled for both the biter and the person bit. Hint: Biting is linked to language development and decreases once a child can talk, according to the National Association for the Education of Young Children.

6. What are the policies about suspension or expulsion? Under what circumstances is a child asked to leave the program? How many children have been asked to leave in the last three years? Hint: In my view, the best answer is zero. Hint #2: There’s a difference between expelling a child for behavior and referring to another program to meet developmental needs. 

7. Is technology part of the curriculum? Why or why not? Do children have screen time at school? Hint: Young children learn by doing, not watching others do something.

Take notes, and thoughtfully consider what you learn during these visits, and here’s a pro tip: Trust your gut. Hint: The most expensive is not always the best.

Make your best decision, secure your spot, and set a starting date. 

Adjusting to Childcare: The First Weeks

In my experience, it takes children two to four weeks to settle into a childcare routine. Once comfortable, they’ll walk in like they own the place! Staff will greet them by name, they’ll know where they’re going, they’ll see their friends, and likely give you a less dramatic send-off to work. 

In the meantime, here’s how to create a positive transition:

1. If possible, start slow. Begin with half-days or half-weeks if that’s an option with your work schedule and the provider. If you’ve got a caregiver coming to your home, have them come part-time one to two weeks beforehand so you can observe them in action and ease the transition for both you and your child.

2. Prepare your child. For infants, ask how caregivers manage routines and try to match what is done at home. Childcare centers aren’t quiet, so if your baby is accustomed to a quiet, dark room when sleeping during the day, you might gradually introduce some noise and light while they nap. Usually lights are not turned low in the baby room as children sleep at all hours while others are playing. For older children, learn the general eating and rest schedule and mimic it at home. Of course, your child will acclimate with time and adjust to the new environment, but you can ease the transition by mirroring these adjustments at home.

3. Prepare yourself by observing your child and taking note of their ability to communicate their needs and do things for themselves. Whether putting their pacifier back in their mouth or putting on their coat, knowing they are somewhat self-sufficient helps you embrace their autonomy. Hint: Look for your child’s strengths and voice them.

4. When dropping off, put on a happy face, communicate confidence in your child’s ability to learn and play, and model respect for the teachers. 

5. Take a moment for your child to show you what they’ve done at pick-up. This is their world, and they want to share it with you. Hint: Speaking negatively about the teacher/program in front of your child doesn’t help them feel safe and secure at school. 

6. Teachers have a method of learning about your child through the enrollment process, but it helps to think through everything you want them to know. What cues does your child give when hungry, tired, or needing a diaper change? What gives them comfort? What are their preferences? What makes them laugh? Be the teacher’s ally. 

7. Be intentional about night sleep and healthy meals in these first weeks, keeping your child’s routine as stable as possible. If feasible, stay home on the weekends, taking time to reconnect. And rest in preparation for the workweek. Once everyone is acclimated, you can add those fun weekend activities back in.

What Is Common When Transitioning to Childcare?

Expect ups and downs for both you and your child. Some days are tough, even in Australia! (You’ve read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day, haven’t you? If not, I am sure you will soon.) 

Expect illness. It’s to be expected in group care. Your child’s Immunity will build, and eventually, your child won’t catch every bug known to humankind. In the meantime, follow your pediatrician’s tips for staying healthy in childcare settings.

Expect some doubt about your childcare decision. With time, you’ll adjust and learn to trust the caregivers. You’ll make friends with other parents and create a supportive community for your child. You’ll participate in all the fun activities like book fairs, carnivals, and celebrations. And your child will probably be invited to lots of birthday parties.

You will ensure your child is safe. 

Because that’s what parents do.

You can learn more about parenting through our podcast, Parenting in the First 3 Years. We interview child development and parenting experts, keeping you abreast of what you need to know about your little one.